Today my friend Miranda passed along this blog that you wrote in reference to a 9 year old little BOY who wore a My Little Pony backpack to school and this was physically and emotionally bullied at school. She wrote this blog in response and I also recommend reading that. You may learn something.
In your blog you wrote, “This next part probably won’t come as a surprise, but here it is: I wouldn’t let my son wear a My Little Pony backpack to school. I don’t think anyone should. I wouldn’t let my son wear the backpack, I would discourage him from being a fan of the show, and I would and will guide my son away from “girly” things and towards “boyish” things. If my son wanted to wear a skirt, I wouldn’t let him. If he wanted me to buy him a Barbie doll, I wouldn’t buy it. If he wanted his room adorned in My Little Pony paraphernalia, I wouldn’t do it. Both my son and my daughter will not be able to do everything they want to do, nor “express themselves” in every way they wish to express themselves. In fact, my wife and I will have a lot to do with shaping their “selves,” thereby shaping their expression.”
Well guess what Matt? My son is 4.5 and he loves My Little Pony. Loves it.
Jude on his 4th Birthday, playing with his gay-ole-unicorns. Look, the one on the left even has RAINBOW hair.
You talk a lot it seems about how the “modern world” is trying to make a big deal out of something that isn’t? What does our modern world say about us when a 17 month old baby is beaten to death for playing with “girly” toys. Ya. That murderer? He’s on your team.
You know what I think would be a better use of your time than teaching your son not to be effeminate? Teaching your son about love, kindness, empathy and friendship.
As I said my son loves a lot of “girly” cartoons. He also loves the shit out of cars, trucks and other “boy” things. My son has something called Autism Spectrum Disorder. This may come as a complete shock to you? But, not everyone is (or should be) the same. The world is not black and white.
If Jude asked my husband & I for a My Little Pony backpack? We’d give it to him. Why? Because 1. It’s a miracle that he had the ability to ask for the things he wants/needs. 2. It doesn’t hurt anyone else or effect anyone else’s life in any way.
I hope your children are healthy and happy in every way, however consider for a second they weren’t. Consider that at the age of 1.5 your son begins to act and behave in a way that is not “typical”. Consider what your world may look like if your son was diagnosed with Autism. Would you attempt to teach him to be UN-Autistic? Would you force him to hide his hand flapping or twitching or love for My Little Pony? If the answer is yes, you make me sick. Literally, physically ill. It also doesn’t take Autism to recognize that My Little Pony is effing awesome, but I digress.
See, the thing is not everyone is identical. Life doesn’t always go the way you plan and you can’t always pick and choose the things that can and will happen to your children. You may think that you can shape, mold and steer your children into an exact life as you see fit. You may even be successful at that for awhile. But ultimately our children will grow into adults that can and will choose the things they like and dislike. Life may throw them a few curve balls, but if we consistently instill in them love, empathy, respect and compassion? Then we will know that we have done everything we can to help them.
Dare I say that small minded (or as you affectionately call yourself “old fashioned”) persons are the reason that this 9 year old child was bullied in the first place? Hate is a taught practice. Brainwashing your son that BLUE MEANS BOY is the reason he may see a child at school in pink and get confused. Become angry even. After all, HIS Daddy told him that blue is for boys NOT pink. Pink and boys is bad. This becomes very confusing to children. It is not the boy who is wearing pink who is at fault. It is the parent of the bully at fault for not teaching him to find self esteem in building other people up, regardless of their appearances.
Another important practice is to teach our children? WORRY ABOUT OURSELVES. If something doesn’t affect your life in any direct way? Don’t worry yourself with it then!
Teach your son that not everyone is the same. Teach your son that if he sees a 4.5 year old with adorable curly blond hair bouncing around singing Frozen or My Little Pony songs it doesn’t mean he isn’t a good enough boy. That maybe that little boy thinks with a different brain than you do and its none of your business what other people like, wear or do. Instead of judging that little boy, teach your son to be friendly and ask why he likes such things. Find something that you both DO like and talk about that. Be kind to him and treat him as you would anyone else. If you don’t want to be best friends, that’s okay. We don’t have to like everyone, but we do have to treat them with kindness and respect. We do have to treat our friends how we would like to be treated.
My point is basically this, at the end of the day our children will grow into adults and I’m hoping mine to be loving if nothing else.
The kind of adult that would NEVER write a blog like the one you did today.